What comes to your mind when we say ‘breakup?’
Have you seen the movie, “Jab we met”? If you have, you will remember the scene I’m going to talk about.
For the unversed, let me provide a synopsis of the entire scene.
So, there is a scene in that movie wherein the hero asks the heroine to telephone her ex (who dumped her) and abuse him. He makes her do all this in order to make her feel better and release her repressed emotions. And she does it — she calls him, abuses him, and she feels better and lives happily ever after.
However, is it all you need to deal with a breakup?
Allow me to be upfront — It’s just a temporary fix — you simply pour out everything on your ex. Burn his or her photographs. Block your ex. And Voila! You are good to go. Life is good thereafter!
So, what happens the next morning?
You do not want to get up from the bed — you cry many tears, you miss your ex, you feel anxious, you feel choked as if somebody has thrown you into an ocean while you are gasping for breath.
And the never-ending cycle of pain continues.
Welcome to the world of breakup pain!
Dealing with breakup
No doubt, breakups are terrible. It does not matter whether you are the dumper or dumpee – you will feel miserable.
However, you must allow yourself to go through the five stages of the grieving process:
- depression; and
The first stage of grief is denial. You constantly deny the reality of your relationship, as you do not want to believe that you broke up with your partner. Moreover, it is your brain’s automatic response to the unexpected news that has come up your way.
Then, you go through traumatic moments of anger and resentment. It is natural to be angry. Thus, this is the phase in which you must not make any rash decisions.
Further, in the bargaining stage, you might try to patch up with your ex, or you might want to at least rebuild the friendship.
So, next is the phase of depression – your brain admits the fact that your relationship is dead and things will never be the same with your ex. In this stage, you feel immense sadness and grief. Thus, emptiness takes the front seat and you find it painful to get over the loneliness.
Finally, after going through the bouts of depression, you enter the stage of acceptance. Moreover, you begin to accept and acknowledge the breakup. Thus, you head out towards the healing process and you may stay at this stage for longer.
Does it take long to get over a breakup?
After spending several days, weeks, and even months in the breakup grief, one question might circle in your mind — how long does it take to move on after a breakup?
At times, your family and friends also start questioning you about how long it will take you to get over your past relationship.
However, sometimes it takes days, weeks, months, or even years to get over someone you loved. Every relationship is unique. Generally, people who have had long-term relationships with their ex take longer.
Just as a broken body part takes weeks to heal itself, thus why won’t a broken heart take time?
So, give your heart some time to heal.
Heal a broken heart: 21 things to do after a breakup
1. Sweat it out
Indulge your body in physical exercise at least 3-4 times a week. Exercising releases dopamine and endorphins in the brain that help to lower stress levels and increase emotional well-being.
Yes, I understand you must be thinking who cares about physical movement in this emotional turbulence!
But believe me, you simply need to cover the most arduous journey — from your home to the floor of the gym. Once you hit the gym, your body will automatically get in the workout mood.
Exercise will train you to become someone who gets up when he or she can not.
Not a gym person? No issue. Try Yoga.
Yoga is a powerful instrument for not only your body but also for your emotions. Yoga asanas oxygenate your body and improve your mental health.
So, with every stretch that you experience in the asanas, you wipe out your emotional pain.
3. Wither away the pain with Meditation
Meditation helps you discover your true self. It brings clarity into your life. So, if you are feeling directionless, you must practice meditation.
In addition., learn to focus on your breath.
Thus, keep in mind, with every inhalation, you inhale happiness, and with every exhalation, you exhale sorrow.
4. Attend workshops
Workshops are a dominant medium to enhance your professional skills and develop new interests. A workshop gives you an opportunity to meet like-minded people, thus building new friendships.
You should meet new people when you are coping with the breakup, as they walk into your life like a breath of fresh air.
5. Upgrade your skills
Join a new professional development course or work towards acquiring new skills such as photography, graphic designing, video editing, and others.
So, just go for whatever interests you.
6. Say ‘hello’ to adventures
If you are an adventure lover, go on a trip and indulge in some thrilling adventure activities. It will help you release all your stress and overcome grief and sadness. So, say ‘hello’ to new adventures and learn from life’s experiences!
7. Move to a new city
Relocate yourself. Maybe you can find a job in a new city. Change of place can aid your healing process. It can also help you to get over memories that are associated with the places you visited with your ex.
8. Spend time with plants
Gardening is an amazing activity that has mood-boosting benefits and it helps you to concentrate on the present moment. So, try it!
9. Party with your pet
If you have a pet, you have a mood lifter! Cook a sumptuous meal for your pet and yourself and watch a good movie while your pet lies on your lap.
10. Make new connections
Don’t be afraid of meeting new people, going out shopping, or playing games.
Just connect with people!
11. Plan a room makeover
You should consider changing the look of your room. It is exciting. You would love the process of a room makeover, thus symbolizing the start of new life and a new you!
12. Eat right and healthy
While going through the breakup sadness, people adopt unhealthy food habits. It is essential to break these habits and take up healthy food choices.
So, educate yourself about healthy diets and learn to cook some nourishing food recipes.
13. Sleep well
Get enough sleep. You have already done enough sobbing under the blanket while listening to breakup songs. But that phase is over. Practice meditation and massage oil on your feet if you have trouble falling asleep, but take good sleep — your body deserves it.
14. Say no to drugs and alcohol
Avoid taking drugs and alcohol. These are nothing but temporary fixes. In fact, drugs and alcohol act as depressants that cause depressive feelings in your body.
15. Count your blessings
Be thankful. I’m sure you would have at least one thing to be thankful for.
Be grateful for the good things in your life and have a gratitude journal.
16. Turn to spirituality
You can heal from heartbreak spiritually. Read your religious scriptures as they consist of an abundance of spiritual knowledge.
Thus, learn to use your intelligence to deal with the breakup situation.
17. Go for a run
Running is a unique therapy that can help you through your toughest time. It is empowering for your mental health. Many people have discovered the unique effectiveness of running in managing their emotions.
So, every time you feel you are losing control of your life, run!
18. Have a mindful drink
Make yourself a cup of tea or coffee and drink it mindfully. Immerse yourself in the flavors and aroma of your drink.
19. Improve your finances
You can use your time in learning money management. You should have sufficient knowledge about investing. Read various books about personal finances and make plans to improve your financial health.
20. Make drastic changes to your appearance
Come on! Make some changes to the way you look. Maybe you can get a new hairdo or dress up differently. Just do it!
21. Seek a therapist
Seeking help from a life coach could be a life-changing event for you. A good life coach will help you figure out your weak spots and find answers to all the questions that spring up in your mind now and then.
How to deal with a breakup with no friends?
“I feel lonely”
“I have no friends”
“Whom can I reach out? No one!”
Do you say these things to yourself? Do you feel that you need a friend to help you get over your breakup?
It’s common, the only friend that some people have is their partner. And when the relationship ends, they lose a friend too. In fact, in such situations, the heartache is severe and it takes much longer to recover from a breakup.
However, you can always make new connections and build new friendships. You just need to be open to communication and stop forming limiting beliefs about yourself.
Even so, learn to enjoy your own company — keep yourself busy with productive activities.
If you learn to be alone in this phase, you will come out stronger and wiser.
As it is rightly said,
“Those who fly solo have the strongest wings”
Rebuild your life
Being single gives you an opportunity to shift your perspective and transform your life.
Challenge yourself to become a massive action taker. You should develop an obsession with learning new things.
Find purpose in your life.
Living life with a purpose will be a major game-changer.
Also Read: Self-Motivation