You must be aware of the feeling you get when you walk into a new place and are hesitant to sit next to anyone or talk to them. Yes? Well, that’s probably because of insecurity. There are numerous causes and forms of insecurity, but one thing is common: everybody feels insecure at certain points in life.
Even the most assertive and self-assured people you know experience waves of insecurity. So, don’t think you are alone feeling that way! We all have been there!
In this blog, we will delve deep into the concept of insecurity. After defining what it means, we will discuss its causes and symptoms, as well as the tips to get over them. This is the comprehensive guide to the insecurity that you have been looking for. So, make sure you read it till the end!
What are Insecurities?
Insecurity is the lack of confidence or a feeling of inadequacy that drives you to be anxious and distressed about your worth and abilities. In simpler terms, insecurity is when you find yourself lacking self-esteem.
You might find yourself stupid, ugly, boring, or guilty of putting yourself out there and meeting new people. Unfortunately, the term insecurity is frequently used as a negative label. But believe it or not, no one is totally free from feeling insecure.
Insecurity can be physical, mental, or emotional. Therefore, it is essential to find the root cause of insecurities and try to overcome them.
Why am I feeling insecure? – Causes of insecurity
The experience that we have in life majorly affects our level of insecurity. But there are numerous other reasons to feel anxious and stressed out about ourselves. Have a look at the possible causes of insecurities.
1. Lack of emotional support
People who deal with a lack of love, care, and affection from friends or family tend to inculcate insecurities.
2. Lack of physiological satisfaction
When people are insecure about food, housing, and safety needs, they struggle to move on, thereby developing physiological dissatisfaction.
3. Lack of emotional intelligence
Those with low emotional intelligence can’t monitor their feelings as well as of others. This, in turn, leads to unhealthy relationships and a lack of trust among friends, family, and colleagues.
4. Lack of agreeability
People who disagree with each and every point of others tend to have more interpersonal conflicts. In addition, such people lack qualities like being supportive, empathetic, helpful, understanding, etc., which leads to anxiety and insecurity.
5. Lack of openness
When people aren’t curious, open, and comfortable with new people and circumstances, they become more stressed and fearful, which results in self-doubt.
6. Possibility of underlying mental health condition
Mental health conditions like anxiety, distress, and depression directly correlate with insecurity. In addition, personality disorders like borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, etc., can make you doubt your abilities and value.
7. Over-dependency on others
When people depend upon others, they are bound to become insecure that the other person might leave or cheat. Therefore, self-doubt arises regarding your appearance, habits, attitude, etc.
Types of Insecurities
Insecurity and self-doubt can originate from numerous sources in multiple areas of your life. Because the origin and source are different, one person’s insecurity is entirely different from the insecurity of the other person.
Below are typical kinds of insecurities that one might face.
- Body Image Issues
Thinking that one’s body is physically unattractive is the most common type of insecurity. Body image insecurity includes fear of gaining weight or not being appealing/ alluring enough to find a partner (in some cases). People with this kind of insecurity tend to be preoccupied with their appearance and lack self-love.
- Relationship Insecurity
Relationship insecurity includes the fear of being alone and not having a companion in the future. This kind of self-doubt arises among people who have had bad experiences while being in a relationship. In a way, such people lack self-esteem.
- Job Insecurity
This kind of insecurity is common among people who are afraid of being fired or laid off from their job. Such people always feel like they are not good enough for the job and can be replaced anytime. Work insecurity often leads to stress and anxiety.
- Social comparison insecurity
Social comparison insecurity means that you have a fear of being judged by others. This type of insecurity stems from past experiences. For instance, you might have been a topic for others to laugh upon. This can lead to low self-esteem and dejection.
Signs of Insecurity
Some forms of insecurity are easy to spot, while others are more concealed. People who disguise their insecurities generally limit their exposure to judgment.
Below are the signs to look out for when you or someone is suffering from insecurity.
- Feeling of inadequacy
- Low self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence
- Ill-equipped to cope with the stressors
- Anxious and stressed when it comes to relationships
- Poor decision-making skills
- Being overly critical of yourself and others
- Struggling to trust others and building strong relationships
- Poor communication skills and concentration level
There can be numerous signs of insecurities. But the significant part is to overcome them. So, if you or any of your friends, family members, or colleagues are suffering from insecurities, it is best to conquer them by following the tips mentioned in the next section!
How to conquer/ overcome insecurities?
Like other psychological conditions, you can overcome insecurities by making some lifestyle changes and shifts in perspective. However, changes in your pattern take time and patience, so you should be willing enough to wait to get long-term results.
Here are some ways of dealing with insecurities.
1. Talk to a Therapist
Insecurities can have harmful effects on our minds and body. When the situations get worse, you might need a therapist. A therapist assists you with the most effective and efficient methods/ treatments to establish long periods of well-being and security.
Conversing with a therapist may seem daunting, but it is sometimes essential to let out the feelings and emotions you are having. This not only relieves you from the mental burden, but also results in overcoming insecurities.
2. Practice Self-Compassion
When you see yourself insecure in certain stages of life, it is best to inculcate self-love and compassion. Rather than seeking the love outside, you must give yourself that care and affection. Loving yourself creates more security.
3. Unlearn & Reparent Yourself
It is crucial to unlearn the lessons you have assimilated all these years and start afresh by looking at life in a completely different way. Take a look at all your beliefs and preconceived notions you have for other people, things, or situations and try to teach yourself new views. Through this process of unlearning, you can easily establish self-love and security.
4. Communicate Openly
Insecurity makes people unsure and uncertain regarding everything they have in their life. As a result, they don’t feel comfortable sharing their experiences or feelings with others. Lack of communication often harms your relationships with others. That is why it is essential to take up the opposite approach and try to talk openly. It is easier to communicate with your friends or family members whom you are most comfortable with.
You know that they won’t judge you and will try to help you as much as possible! But ensure that your expectations are realistic so that as you express yourself, they help you by coming up with some logical solutions!
5. Build a Strong Support Network
This point coincides with the one mentioned above. To overcome insecurities, you will need a strong group of people who support you. Having optimistic people by your side will help you transform your perspective and the preconceived notions you have. In addition, people who care for you can introduce you to new places and experiences that can help build confidence.
6. Focus on the Positives
The way to talk to yourself and the way you look at the world will have a significant impact on your insecurities. People who speak to themselves positively tend to stay focused towards their goals and find good things in the world. As a result, they become more stable, secure, and comfortable. Focusing only on the positives might seem to be a bit far-fetched, but this tip will definitely pay off in the future.
7. Accept your Limitations & Celebrate your Differences
Change is good and inevitable. Therefore, moving in new directions can help people achieve great things. The problem arises when people try to change the unchangeable. It is wise to accept your limitations and find peace with them. Embrace your insecurities and let go of the things/ situations you can’t change.
Try to overcome your insecurities, but when nothing seems to work out, sit back, introspect, and let it go!
Ready to overcome insecurities & take charge of your life?
Insecurity is a universal experience, but not everyone experiences insecurity so intensely that it disrupts their life and ability to function. If insecurity is creating unwanted impacts on your mental, social, and physical health, it’s time to take action and address the issue.
You can follow the tips mentioned above and try to overcome insecurity as much as you can. But when the situation worsens, don’t forget to seek professional help. Talking to a psychologist/ therapist will help you deal with negative and unwanted emotions efficiently! Thus, it is vital to keep yourself mentally and emotionally healthy and take the necessary measures to conquer your insecurities!