Let go of someone you love! But how?
Let go!
These are the usual words we hear when a relationship shatters. Letting go feels like something has stuck on your fingers and you simply pour soap and water and it will vanish. But it does not work like that. Does it?
Thus, ending a relationship is hard.
And so is moving on. You would agree with me if I say that dealing with a breakup feels like ending some drug addiction. No matter how hard it sounds, you need to learn to get over a breakup because if you get stuck in the past, you deprive yourself of living the life you desire. And let me tell you this — you deserve to live your life to the fullest!
Why is it hard to let go of someone you love?
What stops you from taking action? Why do you worry about letting someone go?
Really, think about it.
Let me tell you — It is the fear of uncertainty that makes you hold on to the past. You feel scared when the thoughts of continuing life without your partner sprout in your mind. You might have dreamt of growing older with your ex-partner and when those dreams fall to pieces, it becomes hard to pick yourself up and carry on. As human beings, we have a resistance to change. When a relationship ends, everything around you changes. So, you fear that change — you do not want to come home and not find your partner to talk about your day. Right? It is the feeling of discomfort that makes it hard to get over your past relationship.
Sure, it is difficult to forget your ex. However, let me ask you a question – do you really miss your ex or those experiences?
If you give it a good thought and introspect, you would agree with me that what you truly miss are the experiences and the moments that you shared with your beloved. But remember – you can always create better memories and experiences!
How to move on from a relationship?
The relationship is over. This is the blatant truth. So, make a choice now – do you want to stay in the past or do you want to turn over a new leaf and embrace better things in life?
To tell you the truth — you will move on, eventually. So why keep yourself in an unresourceful state for longer?
Isn’t it better to act now?
And if you are on this page, trust me, you are ready to take the next leap. However, you do not know what to do to let go. There are dozens of emotions running across your heart. But you need a quick fix — may be a remote button that relieves your pain instantly. Okay. Wait! Take a deep breath and relax. Just like falling in love and forming a relationship happened gradually, it will also take time to get out of these emotions. Trust the process and stay with me here as I walk you through how you can move on.
Best ways to get over a relationship
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Accept and move on
Acceptance is the key Nothing will change if you do not enable your mind to tap into the potential of letting go. Accept that you can not undo what has happened. But the only thing that lies within your discretion is to let go of the person you love. If you do this, you set yourself free. With liberation comes peace and contentment. So, allow yourself to attain that stillness of mind.
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Learn to forgive
Use the power of forgiveness here and now Currently, you might go through a rush of emotions wherein you simply want to burst out everything on your ex. Moreover, you might ponder over the things that your partner did wrong. And you might be resentful about your partner’s behavior. That’s a common emotion. However, if you keep holding on to past grudges, you will bereave yourself of the act of forgiveness.
Forgive your partner – holding a grudge will hurt you more. If you feel uneasy and have things to say to your ex, write them on paper, record them, or take a toy in front of you and shout and vent out your unreleased emotions. Forgive not only your partner but also yourself and have faith in the power of forgiveness.
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Off the hook
Separate yourself mentally and emotionally! You simply cannot contact your ex once you have parted ways. Period. It is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Thus, cut off every form of contact – telephone, chats, emails, and social media. However, cutting off contact does not primarily mean that you block your significant other from social media in the spur of the moment as there is a possibility that it might intensify your urge to unblock and stalk.
Rather, try to dissociate yourself from your former partner and avoid the temptation of pursuing his or her activities on social media. Disassociation is important, especially during the initial phase of grieving. You must embolden yourself as a separate individual with distinct desires and motives.
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Ditch that blame game and take responsibility
Take ownership of your actions
“He just ruined my life,”, “He did not invest enough time and emotions in this relationship,”, “She never trusted me,”
It is common to put blame on the other person for an unsuccessful relationship. But please know that this practice will never let you move forward, as you will keep coming up with different things to put blame on your partner, and it will only make you restless. So, do not play the blame game. Instead, take responsibility for whatever happened, and move on with dignity.
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Pull yourself out of a belief trap
Positive thoughts create positive life experiences. Your beliefs make you hold on to the past. You find it harder to get over someone if you have thoughts like “I can not live without that person”, “I won’t find love ever again”, or “I won’t be able to trust anyone”.
These are not facts but only some limiting beliefs that your brain has created. Therefore, you must make a mental shift and adopt empowering beliefs. You must decide to focus on empowering beliefs and make this transformation a daily part of your life. Trust me, it would amaze you to see the magical results.
James Allen writes in his book, ‘As a man thinketh’, “A person is limited only by the thoughts that he chooses.” So, identify your limiting beliefs and replace them with positive ones.
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Practice self-love
Fall in love with yourself. Happy souls are those who love themselves. Thus, people who know how to practice self-love have a positive aura around them.
- be kind to yourself;
- take care of your mental health;
- go on a solo trip;
- shop for new clothes;
- learn new skills;
- start writing a journal;
So, in a nutshell, focus on yourself!
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Reconnect with yourself
Recognize yourself. Sometimes, you need to lose someone to find yourself. It is especially true with toxic relationships. Some relationships strip you of your identity. One can never be happy by losing himself completely. So, if you have lost yourself in a relationship, it is best to let it go. Get closer to your true self. You might have observed that many people come out stronger and better after they move out of an unhealthy relationship. This is because they regain touch with their true self.
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Choose to stay busy
To be busy is a blessing. Do not let your body crawl into the bed and stay there all day and night. You might be tempted to delve into your relationship memories – going through old pictures, listening to songs, crying, and then it becomes a never-ending cycle. It is fine to feel this way for a while. It is okay to grieve. Take your time. However, do not remain in this state for a prolonged period.
Instead, establish a routine for yourself. Yes, it is difficult to form a routine when you are going through a troubled phase. But all you need to do is get started! Do not think, just act. At least, have a morning ritual and do things that make you feel better – read books, do yoga, listen to podcasts, take a stroll in a park, pray, or meditate. Staying busy and getting involved in the outer world will keep your mind away from negative feelings.
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Surround yourself with friends and family
Have people to confide in. Do not isolate yourself emotionally. Sociologists believe that emotional isolation can cause serious health risks. Spend time with your family. Talk to your parents. In addition, do some family rituals – watch your parents’ wedding videotape, play games, have a look at a family photo album, or listen to your childhood stories. Hang out with your friends. Speak your heart out to them. Let go of stress and distract yourself by doing things you like to do with your friends.
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Hold yourself tight
This too shall pass soon It is inevitable to feel heartbroken if you are not the one who caused the breakup. Or if your partner cheated on you. Bitterness and anger become your predominant emotions.
No matter what turbulent emotions you are going through, you must hold yourself tight. You can not let negative feelings affect your physical and mental health. Detach yourself from unhealthy sentiments. Walk away from anything and anyone that instills toxicity in your life.
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Seize the opportunity
Transform your troubles into blessings You do not know what you can do with the abundance of emotions that you are feeling right now! Channelize them for achieving something bigger in life and learn to use your emotions constructively.
History shows that many successful people have gone through some physical or emotional pain in their lives. You also have the power to create a purposeful life if you transform your pain into strength and progress.
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Look for professional help
Talk to a relationship coach Let’s say that you have put all your efforts into getting over a difficult breakup. Despite that, your emotions overpower everything, and you feel clueless about how to move forward. Well, in that case, do not be reluctant to seek professional help and book your appointment with a good relationship counselor.
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Get over your breakup
Heartbreaks are prevalent in the world. Look around yourself – you experience it in movies, plays, poems, songs, literature, and other things. Remember that you are not alone. There are millions of people in the world that have gone through heartbreaks and they have learned to let go. With time, the pain eases, the body recovers, and your brain learns to get over the breakup. Shake off your head right now!
And….
A doorway is open for you to explore new opportunities and new beginnings. Unlock it!
Also Read: Self-Motivation
