Many people suffer relationship failure and think that they did not get the right person or they fail to understand how to find the right match for themselves. You need to think for a moment whether you are unable to get the right match or you are responsible for making your relationship fail and unhealthy. You developed hurdles in the way of your loved life and happiness. So, here we are explaining some major reasons that your relationship fails.
1. Trust Issues
Developing trust issues among both partners are the most harmful factor in a relationship. If there is no trust in a relationship then you may not feel safe and secure with each other while change is the key factor to building a strong relationship among two partners. Moreover, you can add some other contagious factors in trust issues like possessiveness, jealousy, rigid behaviour towards your partner, lack of emotional bonding, playing games with your partner, lack of loyalty. If some of these issues are responsible for your present or former relationship then you need to check them on the basis of broken promises or jealousy.
2. Different Expectations
It is not an easy task for both partners to move on in their relationship with the same dreams and goals. At the very starting of a relationship few factors that often draw two persons towards each other to be in a relationship are:
- Physical attraction
- Sexual passion
- Common interests
- Socio-economic backgrounds
Various people are very less aware of the realities and necessities of daily life. Both partners may have different interests and expectations while living. They think like “what I need,” instead of “what we need.” There is some reason to create a divergence in a relationship such as:
- Your partner has different expectations in the relationship or has different priorities.
- Your partner gives priority to some other relationship and makes it more important than the relationship with their partner.
- Your partner is having another relationship with somebody else or is committed to someone.
3. Moving Through Life at Different Speeds
If one partner is growing and learning new things faster while the other partner is growing slowly or even stagnating can be the cause of the failure of the relationship. For instance, if a husband is growing in his career faster and learning new things in his office and on the other hand his spouse is living at home. Both will have different social and professional lives after some time. Both will feel indifferent towards each other.
4. Relationship failure = Compatibility Issues
Compatibility in a relationship is a big point to move a relationship smoothly. It express in a relationship through various aspects such as:
- Compatibility in intimacy
- Compatibility in personality
- Compatibility in attachment
5. Communication Issues
Communication issues are the biggest reason to fail a relationship. Thus, it is a big issue for break-ups and divorce in a relationship.
When both partners have contempt in their relationship such as:
- Negative judgment
- Criticize each other
- Sarcasm regarding the personality of a person.
6. Relational Abuse
If any partner is repeatedly mistreating or abusing their husband/ wife can be called mistreatment or relational abuse of a person. This relational abuse can be in various ways such as:
- Physical and sexual abuse
- Pathological manipulation
- Pathological Narcissism
- Emotional abuse
- Pathological passive-aggressiveness
- Verbal abuse
- Excessive control and dominance.
7. Life Habit Abuse
Life habit abuses are defined as a person having bad habits directly or indirectly like gambling addiction, thus affecting the relationship towards break-up or divorce. There are various habits included in life habit abuse such as:
- Drug addiction
- Alcohol addiction
- Gambling addiction
- Sexual addiction.
8. Grown Apart, Boredom, Staleness, Rut
If both partners are in a relationship for more than two years and have separate social and career life or growing separately. It can happen by having:
- No commitment in a relationship
- Both have different expectations
- Lack of compatibility
- Error in mate-finding.
9. Money Issues
If both partners are living together in a relationship and committed to each other then there is a possibility of having financial issues. Research proves that money issues in a relationship are the big reason to fail a relationship. No one likes to marry to have money problems in life. Thus, money issues can raise some other psychological requirements like:
- Trust
- Safety
- Security
- Power and control
- Survival of life
Tips To Save A Failing Relationship
You have to understand that you and your partner are together for a reason. Your partner is having many good habits with lots of flaws. If your partner is financially weak but loyal toward you then do not abandon them because he is having some flaws because a successful relationship requires honesty and love for each other.
If you believe that you will leave the relationship until you find a perfect partner for you then believe that you will be disappointed throughout your life. You need to admire the uniqueness of your relationship and your relationship needs some efforts from both partners to save it from collapsing or failing. So, here we discuss some points that can help to save a failing relationship.
1. Re-evaluate the reasons for you to be together.
You and your partner need to go back to the memories of the beginning of your relationship and think about what thing you like in each other that draws you both together. What qualities did you like in your partner at that time are most valuable to you. What quality does he or she possess that was amazing to you? Re-collecting the reasons to come together will give you the reasons to stay together in your present relationship. It will strengthen your relationship. You have to ask your partner what they like or dislike about you and be ready for criticism and improve yourself.
2. Communicate.
Communication with each other can be done in 2 ways, one of them is the wrong way, while the other is the right way. In the right way, you have to ask your partner a genuine question and listen to their opinion patiently then give your point of view. In the wrong way, you will overwhelm your partner with your frustrations and worries. Both partners should speak politely and engage with their partners in a healthy conversation. You should stay away from toxic conversations when your partner is already stressed.
3. Do something special together
Both partners have to do something special together like you both may like to go to a restaurant that was your favorite in the past. You can plan a dinner in that restaurant. Moreover, you will be able to recall the old memories that drew you together and you fell in love with each other. You don’t need to do something extraordinary. you can spend time with each other in a park by holding your hands together. It will also create a magical change in your relationship.
4. Cut out external influences.
There are always some outsiders and their opinions disturb your personal relationships and make them toxic. You need to understand which person influences your life in a less positive way. Recall that person and keep that person away from your personal relationships. Don’t share little details of your personal relationships with every person because nobody can give you answers regarding your personal life. You should need to open the chances to have healthy communication with your partner and admit your love and concern towards them.
5. Forgive each other.
Forgiving each other does not mean that you keep the bitterness in your heart. You must throw out all the bitterness, bad memories, frustrations that are the big hurdles in the progress of your relationship. You should detach yourself from all negative emotions with heartfelt forgiveness. Don’t drag your past memories into your future progress. Holding on to the painful memories gives you only pain. Keep in mind that forgiveness is not a final result but you have to do small acts on a daily basis to make your life more happy and progressive along with your partner.
6. Come clean about one thing.
Everyone has secrets that they know would be deeply hurtful to either themselves or others if someone had knowledge of them. Certain things you should keep to yourself but honesty can act as a trigger to discovering your partner’s opinions and views. Admission of a mistake or a secret can also make them feel comfortable to open up to you about the same.
7. Set boundaries with each other.
If you are setting up a rule for your partner, try to set a similar rule for yourself. If you make your partner promise not to be late outside on a Saturday night, then you must abide by the same rule. A relationship goes both ways. If you tell your partner what you want them to do or not do, then be prepared and open to having the same imposition on yourself. A relationship that works with boundaries that are comfortable to both is one where there are no unnecessary fights, arguments or explosions. Such a relationship is also helpful in the growth of the partners and promotes respect for each other and their wishes. It will also increase your and your partner’s sense of security and build trust and good faith.
8. There is no ‘i’ in ‘team’
Before both the partners can come to terms with the management of debt, it is important that they do not keep any more financial secrets from each other and share their concerns on the matter. An honest discussion about finances and debt can feel difficult, but it is imperative. Developing a habit of having discussions about the finances will ensure that the relationship is strong when the times get tough. You must also avoid assigning blame, rather focus on working towards a solution that will be mutually beneficial. If the finances can be fixed as a team, both the partners feel stronger and in control.
Also Read: Break the breakup sadness – a road map to deal with a breakup
